Jesse Towler aka Slasher

This is a movie I made with Jesse Towler and Alan Caloochie about what it’s like to be a serial killer or something.

 

Clark and Michael

A couple years ago Clark Duke and Michael Cera made an internet series called, “Clark and Michael” and it was grand. Here’s the first episode. I think the series got better as it went, though.

 

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

From your favorite Ret Pally

Baseball Postseason Predictions

NLCS Prediction: There’s no such thing as a sports prediction, if the team I pick wins, it’ll be nothing more than chance.

ALCS Prediction: There’s no such thing as a sports prediction, if the team I pick wins, it’ll be nothing more than chance.

World Series Prediction: Dodgers in 7.

A Farewell to Metrodome Baseball

Yesterday’s disappointment precedes today’s reward.

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Today we say goodbye to

baseball in the Metrodome.

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For a roof over our heads

and a place to toss the ball around,

we say thanks.

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But we don’t say thanks for the flyballs

lost in your ceiling, or the groundballs that

skipped over your slick turf like

the flattest rock over smooth waters.

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Nor will we thank you for the disproportionate seating–

too scarce along the baselines–

or the outfield “wall” that looks

suspiciously like a garbage bag.

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Come to think of it, even

Brett Favre looks more natural here

than home plate ever did.

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Art Howe once said of you,

“They should blow this place up.”

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But we’ll settle for a less dramatic farewell.

The Mountain Goats are getting the Colbert Bump so…

Thought I’d ride their glory, try to get some traffic through here.

Those Lonely Island boys have done it again!

A Public Option

Rich people seem to have convinced most of the poor people that they don’t want to get better when they’re sick and I have to atleast commend them for that. It’s pretty impressive to convince someone to so obviously put aside their own health so that rich people can get richer.

That is why this is being blocked, don’t pretend it’s because you think the hospitals will stop treating people or any other bullshit. Yeah, maybe they will treat a poor person before a person with more money, and they should, nobody should have to wait and die because they’re poor. Not even Hitler. Okay, maybe Hitler.

I thought I had more to say about this. Carry on.

The Colours of the Universe

Forest Green

Lavender

Turquoise

Violet Jay

Shaggy 2 Dope

Micachu & The Shapes

Turn Me Well.  I think these kids wanted to make a chores themed song.

JP Incorporated

:::::::::::::::00000:::::::::::::::

Here are some things that you will want to unsee:

RED

BLUE

YELLOW

BLACK & WHITE

ORANGE

TICKLE ME PINK

That boy needs therapy.

Jude ‘big dick terrorist’ Burgoyne found this gemmy

How bout some Bill Hicks?

Lets get offensive…for no reason.

If I could describe Weekend at Bernies II in two highly unrelated youtube videos.

Let her have it.

New Tenacious D song.

Rasputin cover by Turisas

Cover of a funny disco song.

—Lyrics—
There lived a certain man in Russia long ago
He was big and strong, in his eyes a flaming glow
Most people looked at him with terror and with fear
But to Moscow chicks he was such a lovely dear
He could preach the bible like a preacher
Full of ecstasy and fire
But he also was the kind of teacher
Women would desire

Ra-Ra-Rasputin
Lover of the Russian queen
There was a cat that really was gone
Ra-Ra-Rasputin
Russia’s greatest love machine
It was a shame how he carried on

He ruled the Russian land and never mind the czar
But the kasachok he danced really wunderbar
In all affairs of state he was the man to please
But he was real great when he had a girl to squeeze
For the queen he was no wheeler dealer
Though she’d heard the things he’d done
She believed he was a holy healer
Who would heal her son

But when his drinking and lusting and his hunger
for power became known to more and more people,
the demands to do something about this outrageous man became louder and louder.

“This man’s just got to go!” declared his enemies
But the ladies begged “Don’t you try to do it, please”
No doubt this Rasputin had lots of hidden charms
Though he was a brute they just fell into his arms
Then one night some men of higher standing
Set a trap, they’re not to blame
“Come to visit us” they kept demanding
And he really came

Ra-Ra-Rasputin
Lover of the Russian queen
They put some poison into his wine
Ra-Ra-Rasputin
Russia’s greatest love machine
He drank it all and said “I feel fine”

Ra-Ra-Rasputin
Lover of the Russian queen
They didn’t quit, they wanted his head
Ra-Ra-Rasputin
Russia’s greatest love machine
And so they shot him till he was dead

Oh, those Russians…

Star Wars can be funny, right?

Creed is so awesome.

This video shows Creed’s shredding cred.

Oh man, this is so rawesome (racist but awesome)!

This is pretty funny.

Can’t vouch for the rest of this series since I haven’t seen it, but this one was pretty funny. I probably would have left after the annoying hallways that get smaller.

New video up.

I think I made a poll.